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Story time

I wrote this story for a creative writing class, enjoy!

To: Earth

From: Hell

Sydney Heisler

            Lying in a hospital bed at the prime age of 22 is never the best-case scenario but here I am. I have been here for well over 2 months in an induced coma that the doctors chained me to but in all honesty it has only kept me from crossing over. It’s like I am dead but not totally dead yet? Apparently there isn’t a single other person in this hospital that is in a coma that I can see or interact with so I’ve been totally alone with my own thoughts. I can of course hear what everybody says such as nurses, family members, and even friends. Let me tell you, the things I have heard and SEEN are wild.

            For starters, the nurses only ever bitch about how bad their sex lives with their husbands are or how much they regret having kids or how a group-on saved their life, one even said that they couldn’t wait for me to either die or come back so that she didn’t have to keep taking care of me – but I think I agree with her. One nurse did provide some entertainment when she and an intern got a little freaky in my room when they were checking my vitals. I respect that.

            Family members are even worse because all they do is cry and tell my parents that I am going to make it out of this place but that is so rude because I am so never going to live again. You don’t just split your head completely open from going through a windshield and live to see another day. Plus with that scar running down the middle of my head I don’t think I would ever be the same.

            Seeing friends visit me only makes me a bit sad about being, most likely, dead because they remind me of my life and what it was like. I can’t leave the hospital with them and go to classes everyday or go to the mall with them anymore, it’s a fucking bummer. But if any of my visitors truly knew me they would have known not to bring flowers. I hate flowers. They make my nose run, their smells give me headaches, and there is always a spider or bug, and what else? Oh yeah, they die within a few days and then they sit there for another week before somebody throws them away. What great foreshadowing for the dead girl right?

            Watching my parents visit me almost everyday is the most painful thing that I can still feel. I can see and hear them reminding my unconscious body of all the memories I have been so fortunate to have with them. I wish that I could tell them I love them and that I am ok and not in any pain. I am just alone and bored.

            My doctor knows that I am an obvious case. There is absolutely no doubt that she thinks I am dead. She is in here right now seeing if any of my bodily functions have improved. My parents arrive not much later with, yes, 500 questions but I am only going to fill you in on a few of them.

            “What are you thinking? Has she improved?” my dad asks the doctor.

            “I am sorry but I don’t see any improvements. She cannot breathe on her own and her circulation is weakening. I don’t think she will live much longer.”

            That was not easy to hear from the doc but it is what it is. I cannot stand to see my parents cry as they hold my lifeless body crying into me. It is so crushing and they don’t deserve to have to bury me like this. But I cannot keep seeing them so hurt and sad. I have gotten use to the idea that I am dead, but I’m nervous to know or not know what happens when I am actually gone.

            Minutes after my parents had finally left my bed side, the monitor showed a flat line and the next thing I knew there were 2 nurses that rushed in and tried to get the monitor to show anything but a flat line. The doctor came in, right as the nurses had stopped pressing on my chest, evaluated me for a couple seconds and then told the nurses to turn the monitor off.

            “Patient Mary Stewart deceased at 4:35pm April 18th, 2018.”

            Oh. My. God. Did she really just say my actual name? Gross. I haven’t been called anything but Molly since I was a little girl. Alright, so if I am officially dead what happens now?

            “Helloooo? HELLOOO! Is there a.. uhh… Molly around here?”

            What the hell? Am I hearing this right, someone is actually calling my name? I left my room, unsure of how I feel, to go look around the hallways. I know I heard someone say my name. Possibly someone else in a coma? But, how would they know my name?

            As I turned around the corner, a few rooms down, I saw a person wearing a business suit holding a clipboard and had one of those annoying Bluetooth pieces in their ear. She is definitely the type to feel important with a Bluetooth in her ear for no reason.

            “Hello?” I said, as I got closer.

            “I’m assuming you’re Molly? Actual name is Mary Stewart? Just died about 1.3 minutes ago?”

            “Yes, sadly, that is I. And you are?”

            “I am Kerry, the new member coordinator for the after life.”

            “Oh,” Ummm WTF, “So there is an actual after life? I don’t just disappear or end up stuck in this hospital?”

            “No, Stupid! All those people you doubted for having a faith? Yeah, turns out they were right. Don’t worry though, I doubted it too and look I’m doing fantastic.”

            “I mean sure? I don’t really know what to say here.”

            “Typical. Traumatized by watching yourself die. Been there done that. You will get over it, I promise.”

            My thoughts during this conversation were all over the place. I never imagined that I would be talking to an afterlife employee? In the middle of a hospital watching others around me walk right through me, listening to their conversations when they can’t even see me. I am dead. Holy Shit I Am Dead.

            “Ok. So what happens now?” I asked, not sure if I wanted to know.

            “Well, you don’t have a choice but to follow me. Come on we are leaving this death magnet of a building.”

            “But, where are we going? Are we going to Heaven?”

            “Oh, how funny, that’s what they all ask. We are going somewhere much better.”

            “Really?! Where?” I am going somewhere better than Heaven? Wow I must have been exceptional when I was alive.

            “We are on our way to Hell. Come on now.”

            Did this bitch really just say she is taking me to Hell? Does this bitch think I am going with her willingly? Who the fuck is this bitch?

            “Wait, excuse me? Hell? I don’t want to go to Hell??? Why am I going to Hell? I am a good person. Well, I was a good person wasn’t I? Are you sure you have the right person?”

            “Listen, I’ve got the right person. Molly Stewart: lying to parents and never apologizing, use of illegal drugs, underage drinking, pre-marital sex, and oh the one time you stole an eyeliner pencil from Wal-Mart.”

            “Are you serious? Everybody does those things. And I was 15 when I stole that pencil.”

            “You’re right, a lot of people do these things. But also a lot of people go to Hell, sorry.”

            I never freak out over anything. I literally just watched myself die and I think I handled that pretty well. But this, this is just too much. All I have ever heard about hell is that it’s awful, you want to end up in heaven last I checked. How can this be possible? I really don’t think I have a choice but to go with this Kerry person.

            “Ok so like you don’t have a choice. Lets go!” Kerry seemed pretty confident and to be honest she is a tad intimidating and I am not trying to make her angry.

            As we walked out of the hospital, the sun was shining, people out driving and walking their dogs, and I cant even feel the hot Arizona air. I watched Kerry effortlessly glide across the area in her black heals followed by some killer legs. She definitely has a personality. I wonder if her hair stayed that freshly dyed blond color into her afterlife.

            We walked for about 10 minutes until we were a good distance away from the hospital, ending up in a parking lot. I have so many questions but I am really just trying not to cry.

            “The shuttle should be here soon,” Kerry said while staring at her clipboard.

            “The shuttle? Are there others going with us?” I asked, hoping she would say yes.

            “Yes, people are dying all over the place. We transport at least 30 people a day. And look, right on time.”

            This shuttle bus is literally a party bus; I expected something more like a prison bus, handcuffed me to my seat. As the doors opened the bus driver was quick to welcome me to my afterlife.

            “I hope you are ready for the ride of your life!” the driver said as we took our seats. I sat in my seat under rows of colorful lights that would flash different colors that were synced with whatever song the driver played. There were stripper poles and even a little bar that had travel sized liquor, chilled and ready to go.

Behind me were at least 30-35 people, all who I’m assuming died today. There is a mix of elderly, middle aged and a few young people like me. I never thought id say this but the oldest woman here was the first to jump on the pole and grab a drink.

            “This is a party bus… what?”

            “Isn’t it cool? This is our best shuttle bus.”

            As the doors shut the driver stepped aggressively on the gas and our seat belts automatically came out of the ceiling and buckled. We crossed over major highways, through buildings, basically through everything until we had enough speed to the point where the world faded away. I closed my eyes. Within seconds we had stopped, I opened my eyes to see what looked familiar.

            “Are we here? It looks… the same.” I gave Kerry a please-say-yes look.

            “Yes we are”.

            Getting off the bus, I immediately felt the sun on my skin, and it was pleasant. The sky was slightly tinted red but other than that the roads looked the same; there was traffic and people walking around. Birds were chirping in a few average sized Trees here and there. It is all completely modern and urban areas. Huge apartments smashed together with restaurants and businesses underneath them.

            “I assumed Hell would look like darkness with starving people and an unbearable burning sensation, just like everybody told me it would be,” I said to Kerry.

            “For some reason we get a bad rep but honestly everybody here is just like you, normal. Everything that was frowned upon on earth is acceptable here, except for things like murder or stealing… you know the really, really, bad people don’t even make it here. They actually get stuck on earth when they die and are forever stuck in between the afterlife and life. Nothing costs money, everybody is already dead, and you can see other people that have died that are most likely here too!”

            The streets had tables along the sidewalks with people who would catch up with one another playing card games. I’m assuming there are no laws here involving alcohol considering everyone outside has an open container. There are even pets here! I never imagined animals could go to hell. There are bars and clubs lining the entire main street that have no lines to wait in.

            “Wait. So if this is hell, what is Heaven?”

            “Oh those boring people? The people that go to heaven have never committed a sin in their life. And if they have they have been minor and they have repented and been accepted. It is indeed a bit brighter there but also a lot more quiet, because it’s all boring people. Almost similar to getting into Harvard. It also snows there sometimes so like who is actually winning? Though, I guess the people of Heaven do enjoy their quiet lives but personally I’m not very quiet so this is where my dead ass belongs.”

            “I am going to be here forever? What am I supposed to do with all this time?”

            “I don’t know…. Hangout. Meet new people, see old people, you have an eternity to figure that out. Come on, I’ll take you to your family’s headquarters.

            The area is somewhat like earth but different buildings. I’m pretty confident that Hell is much like earth but never ending I can hear people talking about going on vacations and seeing performances by dead singers that are also in hell. I don’t see any restaurants or grocery stores.

            “Do you eat food here?”

            “Nope. You’re dead.”

            “But we can drink alcohol?”

            “Listen, I didn’t bring you here to explain all the scientific info on hell, ok? I am here to show you around so you can get the hang of being dead. Here, take this scooter. This is how you will literally transport yourself across the entire area, glides over water too. Follow me.”

            These scooters hover on the ground and I don’t see a speedometer. By the time I look up Kerry is already close to a mile ahead of me. I jumped on the scooter and all I did was think to get closer to her and the scooter immediately started towards her in a fast speed.

            “Only a couple more blocks until we arrive.”

            We passed apartment buildings that had lights flashing; music blaring and we passed malls that had advertisements for clothing. I think I could actually like it here. We arrived shortly to an apartment complex that was 15 stories high and at least a couple blocks wide. Kerry told me to dial in 504. As soon as I hit enter the door buzzed open. I searched for apartment 504 after getting off the elevator. I knocked on the door and my grandmother was the first to open it.

            “Darling! I can’t believe you’re here so soon? Come in! Come in!”

            Walking in I saw some great aunts and uncles, my grandfather; basically anybody I knew that had passed away was in this giant apartment. The rooms were painted with vibrant colors; windows covered the place that created a red tinted feel from the outside. I wondered if you get to choose what your living area looked like because according to my grandparents, expression is key. As I took a seat in a chair around the table my grandma and grandpa came up to me and asked me:

            “How did you die? Was it quick? How are your parents?”

            Still not used to these types of questions I responded:

            “It was a car crash, I was in a coma for 2 months before I died in the hospital with my parents there.”

            Hearing that explanation come out like that made me realize how terrible it must have been for my parents. I was their only child and I died so young, the crash was a hit and run and they never figured out who did it. I wish I could communicate with them. I really took being in a coma for granted. I should’ve paid more attention.

            “Oh my gosh that is so awful, I’m so sorry you had to go through that for such a long time! Don’t worry darling, I know you’re parents are not going to heaven and time goes so fast here. You’ll all be reunited before you know it!” my grandma seems so happy to see me she even commented on how she would bake me cookies but there are no kitchens in Hell.

            “Grandma, why can’t Hell and Earth communicate with each other?” This has been on my mind since I arrived. It really doesn’t make any sense that we can travel to earth but can’t communicate?

            “I don’t quite know the answer to that but I know its just a fact, we have never been able to contact our loved ones unless they were down here,” she said to me as if it had never crossed her mind.

            “But like if there were people in the past who said they could describe what hell was like, don’t you think they had some sort of communication?” It was as if I suddenly knew what I had to do in order to feel comfortable leaving earth so soon. I had to figure out how to have communication with everybody so that they can know that we are fine and waiting for their arrival. I know what I have to do.

            “You know, you seem smarter since I left you!” grandma said, probably just so id stop asking her difficult questions.

            “Molly, it’s so nice to finally have you here!” it felt so comforting to hear my grandpa for the first time in 8 years, “I’m assuming you’re staying here? At least for a while until you get the hang of things?” He gave me the biggest hug and kissed my forehead, “alrighty I’m headed to work right now but ill see you when I get home? Love you Darling.”

            “You have to work in Hell?”

            “OH HELLLLLLLL NO. Darling you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do here! Your grandfather would just die all over again if he didn’t have something to do for a routine everyday”

            “What do you do to pass eternity, Grams?”

            “Oh you know, I walk around a lot, I use my scooter to go to places I never had the chance to go to when I was alive. Usually when your grandpa is out and about for work, I like to travel and find new areas of Hell. There are beautiful places here like forests and Hell beaches; I even think they are prettier than real life. I just love this red tinted aesthetic. You will have to join me tomorrow so I can show you around!”

            “That sounds amazing Grandma, I can’t wait! I am feeling a little overwhelmed right now so I think I’m going to go out for a bit and explore.”

            “Alright dear, be back before dark.”

            As I was leaving the apartment building, all I could think about were all of the lives that are stuck here waiting for their loved ones to die so that they can see them again. Walking out of the building I noticed Kerry was waiting for me by my scooter.

            “You waited for me?”

            “Duh. Its kind of my job to show you around and tell you everything you need to know” Kerry seemed annoyed, but that didn’t stop me from asking her more questions.

            “So is there a government here? Or dare I say Satan?”

            “Well there is no Satan, but there is a Lucy who does have full control of everything that is Hell here”

            “What do you know about communicating here to earth?”

            “Well I know all I need to know. It doesn’t exist.”

            “What if it did exist?”

            “That would probably be the best thing to have ever happened but how do you plan to create this form of communication?”

            “Take me to Lucy, I obviously need to talk to her.”

            “Its probably a waste of your eternity, I mean there is no way you’re the first one to question that.”         

            “Kerry, do your job and take me to her.”

            “Alright fine. Get on your scooter and go faster than you can handle. Otherwise it’ll be a long ride.”

            I got on my scooter and said in my mind to follow Kerry. I can’t even estimate how fast we were going. We were flying down streets, swerving through people and buildings until we made it up a very long driveway located on a tall hill just on the outskirts of the city.

            I hopped off my scooter and stared at the enormous gates that blocked us from going onto the property. I buzzed in asking to be let in. They said I could not come in unless I had a set appointment, so naturally I said it was an emergency. The gates opened after that and with a shocked look, almost impressed, Kerry got off her scooter and we both headed for the mansion behind the gates of Hell.
            “I sure hope you know what you’re getting yourself into, kid,” Kerry did not seem to be exactly happy a bout the situation.

            Entering the mansion we were guided to a living room where we were told to wait for Lucy to get off a call from Judy, ruler of all things Heaven I guess, and that she would see us shortly. Lucy seems to be really into architecture considering her house was totally modern. Glass walls, white furniture, and electric fireplaces with cool swing seats near it. It didn’t take long to finally be approached by Lucy. She walked out of her office standing tall, maybe 5’8”, walking towards us with incredible posture. Her hair was Fiery Red and skin a little on the fairer side and hazel eyes.

            “What is this emergency you speak of? You have been here for maybe 3 hours and you already have an emergency?”

            “Hi, yes I know but I was wanting to talk to you about possible communication with Hell and Earth. Why doesn’t it happen anymore? Does Heaven have any type of communication with earth?”

            “Seriously? This is your emergency? Well if you must know, you are right. Hell used to have communication with Earth until Judy persuaded God to cut it off.”

            “Why would Heaven do such a thing?”

            “Because they claimed we had a bad influence on the people. Apparently if they knew Hell wasn’t so bad of a place, they wouldn’t behave as well as they do if they fear it,” damn, that is a really good point. But why should the afterlife be feared?

            “But that isn’t fair. I know damn well heaven is communicating with earth through all of their little signs that they send out to their loved ones. Like a rainbow on the day of their death or playing their favorite song on the radio. If they are capable of doing that, we are definitely capable of creating communication.”

            “Yes that is true. God has always favored people in Heaven so they received special privileges every now and then. I have tried to get in on those privileges but for some reason we are denied every time,” this seemed to sadden Lucy. It must be difficult to be feared by Earth when there are false accusations against her for being evil.

            “Well now that you have waisted approximately 5 minutes of my time you can leave now, enjoy Hell.” Lucy was quick to turn around and to never think about this conversation ever again.

            “Wait Lucy, what if we could create a way to communicate? I know you all have special cell phones here, I’ve seen them, so you must have towers for reception?”

            “We do have towers and it is possible to have communication via Internet, but Heaven doesn’t even have communication like that. If we allow people to communicate with live people there would be an immense amount of suicide. I’m sorry but I cannot help you.”

            “But don’t you want to let people know that they should not fear death or that you’re not as evil as they think? With communication we can tell them all of that and I don’t think people would commit suicide because death would still be scary/painful.”
            “You make a good point Molly, but it is too risky. I can’t risk total chaos to improve my image.”

            “How often does god monitor things down here?” Kerry surprisingly asked from being quiet for more than 3 minutes.

            Lucy replied saying, “not often, he is typically concerned with whatever Heaven is up to.

            “What if the next time Kerry goes on earth to pick up new residents, she places a tower in the hospital, I’m assuming your towers are much more smaller and efficient than the ones on earth, correct?”

            “Yes but if god finds out he will be very angry that we let the common people know of our existence.”

            Kerry spoke up again with a good point, “if we let all of earth know we are here and thriving, there is no way to take it away because that will cause even more chaos and hatred towards god for taking away the communication.

            “You two are making some good points. I’m listening,” Lucy must really want this if she is taking the time to listen to our rule-breaking plan.

            “First we need a distraction so that Judy and God will be too busy to notice what we are up to,” I am going to be honest, I never thought that sentence would come out of my mouth, “Kerry, Lucy, how do we distract?”.

            Lucy didn’t even have to think before she answered, “We get them to come down here saying exactly what we are planning to do, only we don’t tell them Kerry is already on earth.”

            “My job just got so much more exciting! What happens if God figures it out before I even get the chance to set it all up?”

            “He will send out a wave that will disable the tower so it no longer works and could possibly be so angry as to close the gates to hell permanently,” and on that note I finally have a reason to fear god.

            “Ok so basically we have to stick to our plan flawlessly. Lucy, send an invitation to Judy and God saying we have a breach in our towers and we think someone in hell is trying to connect to earth. Kerry, you need to get on the bus now and head over to the Hospital. Lucy do you have a tower to giver her?”

            Lucy went over to her desk and pulled out a tiny silver toothpick. “This should be strong enough to communicate. It’s a prototype but it will work. HIG signal too.”

            “Sweet. All right, if everything works out smoothly I can be at the hospital in 30 minutes. Send your invitation 15 minutes after I leave.”

            “Deal.” Said Lucy.

            “Ill see you both on the other side.” Kerry wasted no time at all and ran out of the mansion on her scooter and zoomed away.

            We waited exactly 15 minutes before we informed God of what was happening. As soon as we sent the invitation, we had a request at the gate. We knew he would be here but not this soon.

            “Where are all the towers located here?” I asked Lucy.

            “They are right by your families apartment building, what are you going to do?”

            “Stall them, I’m going to go act like I’m working on the towers so that we can have more time because you will have to come to me. Just take your time to get there.”

            I ran out the back of Lucy’s mansion and waited for God and Judy to enter in. I then grabbed my scooter and raced to the towers. I hope Kerry is almost there we are running out of time. When I arrived at the towers I noticed that the entrance to it was locked. I can’t fool God if I’m not near those towers. I touched the fence and fell to the ground from be shocked.

            “Hey darling, what are you doing here?”

            I thought to myself, I know that voice. I looked up and saw my grandfather, on the other side of the fence.

            “Grandpa? I need you to let me in!”

            “What for? Why would you need to be around this area? Where have you been?”

            “I don’t have time to explain but I have orders from Lucy so please let me in.”

            My grandfather finally let me in after I said I had orders. Before I had even made it to one of the towers, I ran into Lucy and a very disappointed God.

            “What is the meaning of this Lucy?” God annoying asked, “ There is nobody here tampering with anything.”

            “Why do you not want us to communicate? Those are our family members out there too. If it’s possible then why not?” I was so angry I could barely hold myself together.

            “Don’t you dare use that tone with me, I make the rules not you.” God forced us down on the ground with a single wave of his hand. Unable to move we watched as he created another wave, this one big enough to make it to earth.

            “I can see Kerry, She is at the hospital, on her way to the roof to set up your tower.” This is it, I am never going to talk to my living parents ever again, and they’ll have to live the rest of their lives depressed.

            Without hesitation I watched my entire life flash before my eyes as God sent his massive wave to deactivate the tower Kerry had. Judy had to chime in saying how irresponsible and dangerous we were. God only fed into it.

            “I ought to send you guys to the in-between zone for going against my rules.”

            And yet just as that line was finished coming out of god’s mouth, Lucy received a message from Kerry saying, “it’s a good thing god doesn’t know how to wipe out HIG signal and only knows how to wipe out LTE otherwise this message would not exist. Hello world!”

            “Well, looks like you’re in quite a conundrum here,” Lucy bragged to God.

            “This is impossible. Do you know what you have just done? You ruined all of humanity.”

            “It is quite the opposite. And I hope in time you will see that,” I said as I pulled out my phone.

            “Only Eternity will tell if youre right. Don’t break anymore rules, now I have to figure out a way to stop the world from self destructing,” and with that God vanished with Judy.

            “Don’t worry Lucy, I think he is just grumpy. He’ll get over it,” as I started preparing a message for my parents. It went a little like this: “Hello mom and dad, I miss you both so much! But please don’t be sad for I am having a wonderful time with family and friends in Hell.”

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